Thursday, April 09, 2009

What About Adult Daughters & Dads?

Fairly regularly, adult women ask me for advice on what to do about their strained (or non-existent) relationships with their won fathers. That’s a tough question for me, since my focus is on the father side of the equation—and aimed at helping dads build strong relationships when their daughters are young….so their daughter will never have to ask this question.

Fortunately, I’m able to tell adult women about
an insightful book designed for adult daughters who want more from their relationship with their dads (it's also a great resource for dads of adult daughters and for for professionals who work with families). It’s called Between Fathers and Daughters: Enriching and Rebuilding Your Adult Relationship by Dr. Linda Nielsen of Wake Forest University, where she teaches the country’s only college course on father-daughter relationships. It’s fascinating to read, yet also has Linda’s no-nonsense, concrete strategies for improving the relationships between adult women and their dads and stepdads.

It’s rather baffling (or pathetic?) that there is only one college course on dad-daughter relationships, so little research on the topic, and so few books about it.

Even if you’re the dad of a younger daughter, check out this book, and it will absolutely convince you of how important you are to your daughter’s future.


Anonymous said...

I have a 20-year-old daughter who was pulled into the Bahai faith by my 10-year ex-wife. She is very much her mother's daughter, but I'm very concerned about her attachment to this non-Christian faith. So far, I've kept my mouth shut, hoping that she'd simply "grown out of it." How can I effectively transition her back into the Christian faith, hopefully without causing further damage to our relationship?

Anonymous said...

It's probably too late for this response, but your daughter is 20, she's not 10. There is absolutely NO WAY you can "transition her back into the Christian faith." All you can do is share your life without "preaching" to her.

Anonymous said...

I have a husband who is filled with "guilt" when it comes to his 19 year old daughter. He talks to her like she is 5 and she plays him like a fiddle. He makes comments like "we have to get her an education, or we have to get her a trade" not realizing you can't make her do anything. She is lazy, disinterested and has attitude most of the time he chooses not to see.

When he is confronted, he explodes into the "lets not talk about it" line which is old. He pays for everything for her, rent, two free cars, food, a bank account, tolls and it goes on.

Help, I'm fearful in the long run she will ruin his life with manipulation. She only calls when she needs something and you'd think God himself was on the phone!